On my way to work, I looked at the mountains, I love to sit by the window and look at structures, buildings, trees, and landscape, today, I wasn’t sitting by the window, I only had access to the mountains through the glass in front of me, I was fascinated by fogs, do they fall on the mountains and leave in the morning or do they just leave on their own accord, I like the sound of leaving, that you can just move when you want to, no restraint or judgment, just leave when you want to, when you have to.
The night before, I had gone to smoke cheap weed, it wasn’t loud enough but it was better than having nothing, I wanted to listened to music, to understand lyrics of some songs, the ones I couldn’t hear because I wasn’t stimulated enough to listened to them, but damn the cheap weed.
We had sex, I took his penis in my mouth and suckle on them like a baby, he moaned, crazy he voiced out loud to my hearing, I liked his nipples, black and long and sensitive, sensitive nipples makes sex work a lot easier, yes, sex is work that’s why you sweat! He offered to go down on me, I insisted, because I had spent long hours at work and definitely will smell, you should know that men gossip about women, they know the women who smells and the ones who pussy fart, it’s crazy.
Cheap boys want to fuck, boys on drugs want to fuck, unemployed boys wants to fuck, married men, street boys, laborers, pastors, imams, the general public wants to fuck, and it might interest you to know that everybody is actually fucking.
Sometimes weed makes me enjoy talking to my mom, when I’m back from work, she expects me like her husband, so we talk like I’m her husband, when I’m stimulated and really high, the discussion flows, sometimes into the night, it might interest you to know that before now, it was never this way, we fought and quarreled and lash out on each other, because I wasn’t employed, refused to go for my primary assignment and wouldn’t work at her business place, this has opened my eyes to a point of view that Africans, Nigerians gratify a position, I could make more money sitting at home, but you are lazy and without a future if you choose that type of life.I’m employed now, a lot of fighting and nagging has reduced, even if I’m late, either by work or a client wanting to smoke and fuck, I tell her its work and we are good, what she craves for is love and late night discussions, one of this nights I will tell her I love her before I sleep and it’s not because she wants to hear it or because I want us to keep having a discussion, I simply love her and no other woman can ever be like her in this life time and the life after.
Doctors are funny being, I don’t know if they do what they do to women because they have studied how the pussy works or because doctors are born mischievous I really do not know? He read my work and wanted to talk, on my first date, I like to talk about sex, I ask questions like, and do you want to fuck me? Do you see any possibility of fucking me? Do you think we might get laid unknowingly? Do you like sex? so many question I ask not because I’m afraid of sex, but because I like a definition to things, tell me my purpose here, don’t bore me with long talks, tell me your fetish, I might like it, you should also know that in this part of this world, men don’t shower love to women for free, it’s just heartbreaking that when women finds men who showers them with gift and outings, she feels the man is not entitled to sex, he should manage her company and phone calls, it’s a pity, because I believe in balance, even nature strives so hard to balance itself and if we help nature it is never really a bad idea.
The world have forces, if you listened enough, you can hear spirits sing, cats talk and you could also summon dead people or the spirit of the world if you are about it, sometimes I look too hard at a black and white photo of my dad on my work table, it will smile and float, I haven’t being able to communicate with him as I did much younger, but I will, when my mind is in the right place, he knows I smoke and fuck now, but I know he would want me to tell him.
Sometimes you want to live a fuck it life, but then you have people around you who will hurt themselves if you live a fuck it life, next Wednesday will be two weeks in this office, and I have being called to warning twice, I hate rules I swear! But hating the rules do not pay my bills, love the rules they said, love it with all your heart!
Sex, I don’t particularly enjoy it, I just love when people tell me they enjoy the head or the angles, or how I ride them, and it gives me a certain consciousness that I too, can be perfectly good with a thing. Car sex, wall sex, cinema sex, kitchen, bed, table, floor, let’s try it all, the life is short and to make a legacy, you can only make art and sex is art to me, I laughed hard when the doctor told me he didn’t have sex in mind when we met, who doesn’t have sex in mind? He said he just wanted us to be friends, get high, watch movies, try out food and good eating spots and talk deeply, you and I know that there’s reality.
If you are out bonding with the team, it’s for the soul purpose to find out who people are, I’m not sorry for shouting motherfucker in front of my bosses or throwing the paintball gun on the floor, I hate to explain my actions when I’m frustrated, I get frustrated than I’m angry, anger is a waste of time, More reason why I always talk about my price before I fuck, it’s frustrating when you have bills sorted out and waiting for the money but people always don’t meet up with expectations. Its frustrating!
You see my friend, it’s crazy when people don’t like you, so when you meet people who do, you think they are pretending, crazy shit. People want to use you, people want to make sure you are below them forever, and if you don’t take care it will happen, for the people who have more evil plans towards you are much more than the people who have good intentions towards you, for the evil people already have a plan and are executing it but the good ones only have a thought, thoughts are just like breeze, they will go away and make you sweat afterwards.
Pain is painful, a lot of people are rich but have a very poor mentality, you will never know till you meet them and talk with them, the male cleaner in my office seems to want to hit on me, he has a rich mentality obviously, I dress like I’m rich, he seems to not mind because it takes a real person to know another, we are from the same life struggles, I just seem to struggle more, that’s where I’m where I am and he is where he is.
Lesbians will break your heart too, don’t say I didn’t warn you, because in my curiosity I have met a lot of girls who claim to have a liking for the other female body, I agree with them because it is hard not to like the female body, they are curious like me and very afraid to try, some just want some certain type of validation that they are lesbians, some just broke up with their male partners and are looking to try out girls but checking for guys anyway. In Nigeria it’s hard to love a girl, they will put you in trouble, and you should also not confuse it with the fact that they are other people who are blissfully enjoying their relationship with the same sex.
I have never had such wonderful sex in two years, I underrated you, I just want a life in which I am not looking for anything or something to take away the pains, and that I don’t have to fuck to pay my bills.