Earrings lie naked close to a blue cup

Vaseline and coconut oil, one for my hand, the other for my hair.

The end of a tunnel is darkness or a baby

Hugs are healthy, try a cigarette instead

If I sleep now, death will pass, for the time is ripe and the knife is sharp.

One thirty, sorry one thirty-one.

For a short warmth, I burnt my ladder, take a list, and make a wish. One more drug in me, I’m a murderer

Don’t you shed a tear, for pain my dear, is truly painful.

She will forever be four weeks, I hate men, they should all die.

Biting my lower lip, I held a bucket for balance while I stood on the cold tiled floor.

I slipped and fell, my baby hates me. To reduce the pain, I bite my hand so much I bled. For four hours I rolled in pain, standing nor sitting, bursting my brain with guilt.

On the fifth hour, I gave birth to a fine clog of blood, thick as a thief, too slimy, too perfect I took a picture and sent it to David.

Fuck you, peters father said, I stole the money for the drug from my mother’s black purse, Maybe I should tell my sister, that she’s an aunt to a four weeks old girl named peter.

Black blood, maybe I would be less guilty, I’m a believer- I prayed for an hour, lest I die and rot in hell. I hate Thursdays, It’s Christmas and I am guilty.

This cramp is from hell.

She came for an act of revenge, you were bleeding for a week, maybe you should burn incense or light a candle, say a prayer or two for the dead and for the dying.

Sex is not for my soul, every thrust has landed me in slavery, slave to thought, servant to emotions.

I called David and cried, he said we are one in two bodies. The next day, he brought me a book and wrote me a poem.

I will clean up in the tradition of ash and dust, wailing in sack clothes-masturbate close to the fire, shaving my vagina, brushing my tongue, scrapping my hair, scrubbing my feet, cutting my nails.

Your body is a sin!

Arise at dawn and drink warm water

Ready your body for a new sin

I hope this one doesn’t break you

For every piece of me is a story so long,

A night so dark

A heart hardened to God and to love.

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