On my way to work, I looked at the mountains, I love to sit by the window and look at structures, buildings, trees, and landscapes, today, I wasn’t sitting by the window, I only had access to the mountains through the glass in front of me, I was fascinated by fogs, do they fall on the mountains and leave in the morning or do they just leave on their own accord, I like the sound of leaving, that you can just move when you want to, no restraint or judgment, just leave when you want to, when you have to.
The night before, I had gone to smoke cheap weed, it wasn’t loud enough but it was better than having nothing, I wanted to listen to music, to understand the lyrics of some songs, the ones I couldn’t hear because I wasn’t stimulated enough to listen to them, but damn the cheap weed.
We had sex, I took his penis in my mouth and suckle on them like a baby, he moaned, crazy he voiced out loud to my hearing, I liked his nipples, black and long and sensitive.
Why are you sweet? He offered to go down on me, and I insisted because I had spent long hours at work and definitely will smell.
Sometimes weed makes me enjoy talking to my mom, when I’m back from work, she expects me like her husband, so we talk like I’m her husband, when I’m stimulated and really high, the discussion flows, and sometimes into the night. It was never this way, we fought and quarrelled and lash out at each other because I wasn’t employed, refused to go for my primary assignment and wouldn’t work at her business place, this has opened my eyes to a point of view that Africans, Nigerians gratify a position, I could make more money sitting at home, but you are lazy and without a future if you choose that type of life.
I’m employed now, and a lot of fighting and nagging has reduced, even if I’m late, either for work or a client wanting to smoke and fuck, I tell her its work related and we are good, what she craves for is love and late night discussions, one of this nights I will tell her I love her before I sleep and it’s not because she wants to hear it or because I want us to keep having a discussion, I simply love her and no other woman can ever be like her in this lifetime and the life after.
Doctors are funny being, I don’t know if they do what they do to women because they have studied how the pussy works or because doctors are born mischievous I really do not know?
This new guy read my work and wanted to talk. When I go on my first date, I like to talk about sex, I ask questions like do you want to fuck me? Do you see any possibility of fucking me? Do you think we might get laid unknowingly? Do you like sex? so many questions I ask not because I’m afraid of sex, but because I like a definition of things, tell me my purpose here, don’t bore me with long talks, tell me your fetish, I might like it.
The world has forces, if you listened enough, you can hear spirits sing, cats talk and you could also summon dead people or the spirit of the world if you are about it, sometimes I look too hard at a black and white photo of my dad on my work table, it will smile and float, I haven’t been able to communicate with him as I did much as when I was younger, my mother told me I talked to my father’s ghost.
I laughed hard when the doctor told me he didn’t have sex in mind when we met, who doesn’t have sex in mind? He said he just wanted us to be friends, get high, watch movies, try out food and good eating spots and talk deeply.
If you are out bonding with the team, it’s for the sole purpose to find out who people are, I’m not sorry for shouting motherfucker in front of my bosses or throwing the paintball gun on the floor, I hate to explain my actions when I’m frustrated.
It’s crazy when people don’t like you, so when you meet people who do, you think they are pretending. Pain is painful, a lot of people are rich but have a very poor mentality, you will never know till you meet them and talk with them, the male cleaner in my office seems to want to hit on me, he has a rich mentality obviously, I dress like I’m rich, he seems to not mind because it takes a real person to know another, we are from the same life struggles, I just seem to struggle more, that’s where I’m where I am and he is where he is.
Lesbians will break your heart too, don’t say I didn’t warn you, because in my curiosity I have met a lot of girls who claim to have a liking for my body, I agree with them because it is hard not to like the female body, they are curious like me and very afraid to try, some just want some certain type of validation that they are lesbians, some just broke up with their male partners and are looking to try out girls. In Nigeria it’s hard to love a girl, they will put you in trouble.
I have never had such wonderful sex in two years, I underrated you, I just want a life in which I am not looking for anything or something to take away the pains, and that I don’t have to fuck to pay my bills.
The doctor fucked me, the curious girl fucked me, and everyone else fucked me into strangers again.